The Rebel's Vision Read online

  “No, but maybe it’ll be over soon. I felt you and decided to check on you. The gladiators and Elliar can’t be easy topics for you.”

  “They probably never will be. Thank you for coming out. If you see Matesh, I’ll be at home, waiting on him.”

  “He’s a good male. I bet he would have liked to be out here with you instead of me.”

  “He’s perfect, everything I need him to be and more than I could have ever asked for. He knows when I need to clear my head and see him later. He knows every night, he’ll be sleeping in my bed, and we’ll talk.”

  Luykas nodded respectfully at her response. She took that as her time to leave. She had a perfect lover in Matesh. She had a surprisingly careful and tender one in Brynec.

  Yet she wanted to rave, scream, and commit murder because Luykas was falling for someone.

  At least it distracted her from the guilt…just for a moment.

  16

  Zayden

  Zayden was up earlier than everyone in Mave’s house that morning. He wandered outside, half dressed, to do his business, stumbling in the fresh snow. It was the first major snow of the year. He groaned to find the morning’s supplies were already waiting on the porch, only a dusting of snow on them. He took them back in with him, grumbling about how the young males who were delivering them were getting earlier with each passing day.

  “Soon, they’re going to be dropping this off the night before, and I’m going to lose sleep to make sure it’s sorted,” he complained idly, taking the large package into the kitchen. He organized it quickly, only keeping out some of the eggs for breakfast.

  Once he was done, he got started with breakfast, glad no one was awake yet. He liked cooking when they weren’t up to bother him. They always ate what he gave them in the end, but Matesh could get picky, just like he’d been as a kid.

  Zayden chuckled to himself. They were a couple of centuries apart. Having grown up in the same village Matesh was born in, Zayden had come home to find the neighbors had a little boy, and everyone expected Zayden to babysit him. It was the natural way of things. When Matesh hit adulthood, the babysitting morphed into becoming lifelong friends. It didn’t matter that Zayden spent a century watching him grow up. What was that compared to the over five thousand years they would have to be friends?

  So, Zayden knew Matesh’s likes and dislikes like he knew Rainev’s. It had been a long time since they lived together, chatting over breakfast, but Mat had never changed. Whenever Zayden cooked, he had opinions about this and that.

  Can never really cook with that male around. At least he’s cuddled up with a female now and doesn’t rush out of bed anymore like he used to.

  Zayden was able to get almost finished with cooking by the time he heard their door open. Mave wandered out first, finishing up the blue wrap that was covering her. The wrap was loose, probably because she was tired. Her hair was everywhere in a way that reminded him of things he knew not to consider. Her leather pants weren’t fully tied up, either. It was how she appeared on mornings she was tired from a noisy evening with Matesh. Most mornings, she was put together and jumped out of bed like she was ready for battle at any moment, but sometimes, Zayden saw this—the female who wanted to stretch out like a satisfied wyvern who had eaten her fill. It was a side of her he was certain only Mat and Bryn ever saw until he moved in.

  For some reason, these mornings punched him in the gut.

  “Morning,” she greeted him. “Thank you for making breakfast.”

  “You can stop thanking me. I do it every morning,” he reminded her.

  “I don’t want to be rude and not let you know how much I appreciate the help,” she retorted.

  “By eating the food, I know you’re appreciative,” he threw back at her.

  They stared at each other until she smiled.

  “You can go one morning without being an asshole,” she teased.

  I wish.

  “No, thanks. You might think I actually like you if I did that,” he grumbled.

  She laughed as she moved around him in the kitchen…her kitchen. This home was hers. He was the guest.

  “What would you like to drink?” she asked behind him near the cold box. “I think I’m going to try milk.”

  “Milk with breakfast is for children,” he muttered. “Coffee is for adults.”

  “But—”

  “Don’t argue with him, ilanra,” Mat said with a yawn as he walked out, wearing only a fucking loincloth. Zayden glared at him, pointedly keeping his eyes up. “It’s warm in the house. I didn’t feel like throwing on pants, but then I remembered your sensitive eyes.”

  “Somehow, it’s worse when you wear those fucking things than it is seeing your ass hanging out in the wind,” Zayden explained. “And it’s not about what you are or aren’t wearing. It's how you two behave in different states of undress while I'm trying to eat.”

  “Jealous old fart,” Mat poked fun at him. “Honest truth is all my pants are hanging to dry. They were still damp even after a night near the fire. It’s going to take some time for me to get some on. I’m sorry.”

  “So why can’t I have milk?” Mave asked, showing how good she was at ignoring the male conversation happening right next to her. Zayden was impressed by that particular skill. Summer used to want to scream at Zayden, Rainev, and whatever male was around when they got onto ‘male tangents and ridiculousness.’

  “It’s for children. Once an adult, the milk can be added to coffee or tea, but it’s time to grow up,” Zayden explained. He grabbed the pot of coffee he had started first and three tin cups, pouring them drinks. “Here you go.” He held it out for her until she sighed and took it.

  “You’re loving this,” Mat accused, taking his.

  “No, just trying to keep you two on track, so you can get on with your busy days.”

  Liar.

  “Well, thank you, my friend,” Mave said kindly. Zayden was amazed by how easy she could be in the mornings. She would get exhausted through the day, and go to bed ragged, but she didn’t wake up cranky or bitchy, instead waking up most mornings ready to greet the day.

  Zayden dished out breakfast once it was ready, trying not to show the joy he had in the food he’d prepared this morning.

  “Did you remember the—”

  “If you ask me about my cooking this morning, I swear to the Skies, I will fucking gut you with a dull knife,” Zayden whispered harshly into his close friend’s ear as he threw a spoonful of eggs on the male’s plate.

  “Okay.” Mat stared at the food. Zayden nodded once and moved on.

  Once everyone was dished up, he sat down and started eating. Mave followed, but Mat stared at the food.

  “What?” he demanded as Mat didn’t move for too long.

  “But seriously, did you remember the—”

  Zayden grabbed his knife and stood up, not saying a word as he started walking for the big male. Mat scrambled out of his seat and got ready for a fight, but he was grinning.

  Most surprisingly, though, wasn’t the males. Zayden and Matesh did this hundreds if not thousands of times as Mat grew up and for years after. The thing that made Zayden stop moving was the laughter that filled the room. He turned to see Mave covering her face as she looked away from them.

  “Mat, stop teasing him,” she ordered, trying to cover her laughter. “I’m sorry about him, Zayden. Sit down. The food is wonderful.”

  “There it is. There’s that laugh,” Mat purred, sitting back in his seat. Zayden looked away as the male leaned toward her.

  Mat did all of that just to make his female laugh. Zayden put the knife down and retook his seat, trying not to show anything. It was his secret.

  He loved this. He loved being around a family again. He loved taking care of them. He was more than willing to be part of a foolish activity to see a female laugh.

  How many times did Rain and I pretend to have sword fights while cleaning? How many times did Summer laugh and tell us to get to work?

>   His heart swelled and ached, full and pained.

  He’d missed this. It wasn’t his family, but it was a family. It was people he liked and could take care of. He’d always loved taking care of people. He’d tried to hold on to Rainev for as long as he could, but there was no denying Rain had grown up and moved on. He had important business, and living with Alchan was a requirement for his position. Summer had died centuries before, and he no longer had her to take care of.

  But he could take care of these two until their missing male returned. Brynec could step back in and do his part, and Zayden would back off.

  Fuck, I love the little rogue, but I’m going to miss making breakfast for these two idiots every morning.

  “All right,” he announced. “You get dishes, Mat.” He pushed back his plate, having only eaten half. He had an early meeting, which was why he’d woken up as early as he did this morning.

  “Can do,” his old friend agreed. “Thank you again for breakfast.”

  “No problem.” Zayden ducked out of the dining area and went to his bedroom, armoring up for the day. He played with the frayed leather at the top of his padded pants, sighing heavily. He was going to need to have someone craft him extra pairs. The question was if he was important enough for them to be done quickly and with quality, or if he was going to be stuck waiting in line behind the guards who didn’t know how to take care of their equipment.

  I have rank, thanks to being a member of the Company, but I’m not much better than a good soldier. I’ll try, though. Knowing Alchan, I’ll be on the first mission he feels comfortable trying when spring comes.

  Mave and Matesh were still eating when he left, pulling on his boots as he walked out the door.

  “Have a good day,” Mat yelled at his back as he walked out the door. Zayden’s heart squeezed. It made him feel like he was part of a family again.

  His living situation was a blessing and a curse, that was certain.

  He launched himself into the air from the porch and went to the outskirts of the village, to a small cliffside that was a bit more ramshackle than the rest. It was on the north side of the village where the mountains were just a little shorter, and a road left the Spine into Anden, right next to the clearing in front of the cliff. He landed without grace, thudding loudly as his boots hit the ground. His knees even shook a little.

  “Good morning!” Sen cried out, standing on the porch of a low home with stairs. “Another day, huh?”

  “Another day,” Zayden agreed. “Is everyone still eating breakfast?”

  “Aye, but you and I, we can talk. Then we can get them to work.” The half-Elvasi, half-human pirate sat down, his feet hanging off the porch. He was only ten feet up, so falling wouldn’t kill him, something Zayden was grateful for since the Captain and his sailors often got drunk when they could get away with it. Zayden smiled and went to sit next to him. “How’s living with my girl and her man?”

  “She’s made it very clear she’s not your girl,” Zayden reminded him, chuckling.

  “Ah, but a pirate can dream a little, eh? Imagine the kids. Three races. Wings, horns, and pretty little Elvasi faces.”

  “And shorter than normal lifespans, putting them into an awkward middle zone where they’ll outlive you, but Mave will probably have to see them pass on,” Zayden countered. Just the idea of mutt kids with one of the short-lived races made him think of his situation with Rainev. His good mood deflated in an instant as the words weighed heavily.

  I shouldn’t have said that.

  “Someone thinking about his boy?” Sen was too damn smart for his own good. Zayden growled softly. The pirate had watched the Company change and evolve over the centuries. “You know, I’ve always been amazed you’ve never talked to me about him.”

  “What? I talk about him to everyone, all the time. There’s nothing I’m prouder of in life than my Rainev,” Zayden scoffed. “I don’t know—”

  “About him having a short life span,” Sen cut in. “I’m half-human, Zayden. I’m in the same boat as him.”

  “Ah, I know that…” Zayden shook his head, staring at the trees. “What advice do you have?”

  “Let him grow up.”

  “I am. I’m alone, thanks to it. Wife passed on of old age. Rain’s grown up and gotten himself an honorable position at the hand of the king. And here I am, just another warrior with no family left.”

  “Wow, you are in a mood,” Sen muttered. “Pity is something I never expected you to ask for, and I won’t be giving it to you. Buck up, old man.”

  “I’m not even old,” he reminded the pirate. “I’m sixteen hundred with another potentially four and a half thousand years left in me. I’m not even the age Rainev will be when he’s…” When he’s old. That’s what Zayden wanted to say, but it was hard. “He’s only going to live half as long as me.”

  “It’s still a long time.” Sen chuckled. “You long-lived races are all the same. If it’s not the five to six thousand years, it’s not long enough. We’re all dying young and never seeing the world. We can’t possibly be happy, you think. You know, nearly three thousand years is still a long time. And don’t think we don’t understand what loss is thanks to the difference in age. We had to watch one of our parents die, probably before we even reached adulthood.”

  Zayden leaned over and rubbed his face. Sen had a point. “Yeah.”

  “What’s really bothering you this morning?”

  “He’s grown up, and that’s not his fault. My living situation is awkward. I’ve been staying with Mave and Mat in their spare room because they didn’t want me living in the communal barracks.”

  “Aye, I knew that. What’s wrong?”

  “They’re a family, and I don’t have one of those anymore. I’ve been helping them out because of Bryn’s absence, and it…it makes me want it again. It makes me want a female I can hover around and males I can work with. Summer was from Zira. She took only me as a husband, and I thought it was perfect at the time. Sometimes, it got hard, and I got lonely. She knew it too, but it was against her culture to have multiple husbands, and she only loved me. Most Andinna males look forward to the big family. Three to five males to have fun with, a female who’s going to keep them in line. I’m on the outside, looking in now when I used to be the male with the family.”

  “Ah, you getting jealous of your friends?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered. “But I’m enjoying…pretending I’m part of their family when I help out. I miss having a family.”

  “That’s hard,” Sen agreed softly. “You can always join my crew, leave this behind, and sail the seas with my family.”

  “We’ll see how this rebellion goes.” Zayden laughed softly. “My moods are honestly nothing, Sen. Living with them has just made me think a lot about my life. Wife passed on, son grew up, and I have a lot of life to live. I’m not sure I want to live it alone.”

  “Are ya over her?”

  “I think…I’m coming to that point,” Zayden said, looking down at his hands. “I never thought I would be, but I think I’m moving on. I still love her, but she’s not here anymore, and I’m lonely.”

  “Ah, life tends to do that, doesn’t it? Forces you to move on from things lost. It’s okay, you know. I bet she never expected to be your only wife for your entire lifetime.”

  He couldn’t help but chuckle. No, she had never expected that. Summer had told him Rain wouldn’t be happy if Zayden was grouchy and heartbroken by her death for both of their long lives. She had wanted them happy, whatever shape that took. It was in her will and part of her last wish for them.

  Now, he just needed to come to terms with the new conflicting, swirling feelings that were pressuring him to move on from the loneliness and find a family for himself again.

  “You think they’re done eating breakfast?” he asked the captain. “Let’s get the day moving.”

  “They’ll get out here, done with breakfast or not, when I tell them to get their asses moving.” Sen jumped up a
nd went inside. Zayden chuckled as the captain yelled at the sailors he lived with. He had to get out of the way for them to leave the cliffside home and run to get the others.

  They met in the small clearing, and Zayden clapped his hands to get the attention of the mismatched sailors. Most were pure human, and a handful were unique mixes of human and Elvasi. There was one sailor from Zira, the land of the Clan shifters like Summer, who could change form like Rainev and his late wife. There used to be a few more, but the rest hadn’t survived the attack on Ellantia and captivity afterward. Zayden tried to remember what the Clan member could shift into. It was something water-based. They had all been water- or air-based creatures. One had been an osprey, another a seal.

  Zayden had a special bias toward the sailors from Zira, but then, he had always been fascinated by their ability. Less so since his son became a wyvern and all hell broke loose, but not by much.

  “How has everyone been feeling?” he asked loudly. “It’s been nearly three months since your rescue, and winter is now full on us as you can probably tell from the two feet of snow you’re standing in.” There was a round of chuckles from the sailors he let fade before continuing. “I want all of you to be strong as you used to be by the end of the year. Come spring, you’re going to be back on the open water.”

  The sailors cheered and pumped fists into the air. Sen slid up next to him and leaned over.

  “Some of them still need a lot of work. They’re humans.”

  “We’re just going to continue with what we’re doing,” Zayden explained. “The training regimen we’re on for them will keep the strong ones strong and help continue building the strength of those who need it. If you’re worried they need special attention, we can start giving them individual work in the afternoons.”

  “Thank you,” Sen said, grabbing his shoulder.

  Zayden led the sailors through a series of exercises, starting with shoving an area clear for them to actually exercise in. He’d taken the job of getting them healthy right after they were rescued. He didn’t report to anyone, given free rein to do what he felt was necessary. He had more of an understanding of the limits of the short-lived races than the rest of the Company, and Alchan trusted him. So, every morning he came out here after breakfast and he helped them. He made sure they were getting enough to eat, and it was the right stuff. He needed them to put on weight if they wanted to gain muscle.